sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
