Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
