so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
