Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
