Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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