she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Drunk is not a location!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
