grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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