but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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