I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
