The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
