if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
