yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
