i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
