just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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