It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
