Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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