What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
