the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
