apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
