Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize