Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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