You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
