i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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