I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're too hungover to prance.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
