If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
