Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
