my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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