I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
