Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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