My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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