i would punch a child for taco bell
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
