Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
