Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
