Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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