I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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