Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
