ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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