the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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