just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
