When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize