saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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