We need to rekindle our bromance
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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