My friends, they love my intelligence
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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