Just fell off a train. Bad.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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