I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
