i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
