Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
