How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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