i just wanna soil my oats bro
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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