D3 body, D1 cock
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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