Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
