You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
