He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
