Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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