can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
