I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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