So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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