you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Semen is not good for contacts.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
