did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
